Meaning in Existence
I worshipped Death:
the Ultimate Solution;
or so I thought
that stubborn love
and suicide pacts
might challenge God
and quench this thirst
for something greater.
About Meaning in Existence
Meaning in Existence was first written as Death Note fan fiction. However, I later reworked the poem into an original composition. It takes inspiration from a darker time in my life and acknowledges what I no longer question: that life is worth living. When I was younger, the thought of bringing pain to those who loved me kept me from taking my life. However, I now wish that life would never end.
I hate sleeping at the end of every day and though most days are a struggle, I’m so grateful for the life that I’ve been given. I frequently think of my friend, Anthony, who took his own life, and wish that I could have spent more time with him. I wish I could have told him how much he meant to me because even now, I think back and laugh at our old jokes. I’ll always cherish the time we spent together.
Even at rock bottom, there was always hope. It’s just hard to hold onto sometimes and many of us lose ourselves. I admit that I’ve formed some bad habits and that I don’t always take the best care of myself, but I take comfort in knowing that I’ve withstood the appeal of death. I have so much to show for it.
- On track four of Switchfoot’s album, Nothing is Sound, Jon Foreman sings that “the shadow proves the sunshine.”
