Reminiscence
amidst the chaos
and among the debris
of fragmented perception:
I wander, I sweep unseen
through serene, sunlit meadows
where you lie in tranquility
beneath earth’s tree; oh, the anguish!
the ardor that bursts at the seams!
(equally a dream)
About Reminiscence
I frequently post poems about my exes or romance in general. I’m still somewhat embarrassed to admit that it took me nearly a decade to fully process my two major high-school relationships. I was so young when I fell in love with these women. For this reason and others, I eventually realized that I was mostly in love with an idea – with the thought of what the relationships could have been.
I unhealthily clung to the notion that if my life was somehow like a movie, and if I had been with one of these people, I could have found happiness. I still haven’t found true love and even my longer relationships have typically lasted less than one year. However, I know now that I can’t look to the past for answers.
I still suffer but my mind isn’t in the same place that it used to be. I am not only empathetic but I am proud of my accomplishments and am willing to forgive myself, even when it’s hard. That (among other things) separates me from the boy I once was. I won’t ever write a poem about either of those women again. Regardless, I only wish anyone I’ve ever dated the best.
- In “Exes,” Kele Okereke of the band, Bloc Party, sings:
- “To all the exes that I left behind: these words will fall short but I must try.”