When I Hate Myself
the urge to cut
even 15 years later,
anxiously persists.
desperate in those moments:
I sob and moan. I plead with God.
for oh – how sometimes I wish
that with no repercussions,
I could be the puppet
of what I resist
About When I Hate Myself
This poem is for those who still struggle with thoughts of self-harm, regardless of age or however long it’s been since having given into such thoughts.
I understand too well that the mind goes places when a person is experiencing great mental anguish. Though I’ve been doing quite well lately, this is my way to express and purge those thoughts.
Also, I can relate to the sentiment that cutting is like an addiction. For me, the desire to hurt myself has never gone away completely.
Nonetheless, I refuse to upset my loved ones by living destructively. I love myself and my body more than I ever have.