Since establishing this site and posting on HubPages, I’ve published much material relating to the people I’ve dated. However, I don’t want to be someone who is constantly writing about his exes. I don’t want to be a one-trick pony either, but I’m emotional, and when I form attachments, I feel deeply.
Having a niche is okay, but I want to remain creatively well-rounded as I continue to express myself. It’s also important to never slander others.
Furthermore, I’m excited because I’ll soon be attending a masterclass held by my favorite musician and writer, Max Bemis. There, he will discuss, according to his posts on social media, how one may “[use] the broken parts of [their] social [and] emotional brain to create interesting . . .” and meaningful content.
Transcendence
crippling depression and anxiety,
undiagnosed psychotic tendency,
rage and jealousy, enveloped me
but your patient and stubborn love:
our bond as fractured
mourning doves
set me free
to grasp reality,
to no longer feel the weight
and to explore matters of the mind:
soul and body,
lips heavenly pressed
as our love transcends
like blossoming death
Together, as Days Pass
when I’m alone: fear, hatred and sickness claw from within me,
hemorrhaging and pulling me down into the caverns of an unsound mind.
I feel it in my body
as my legs throb and tremble.
it’s the kind of aching that disables.
and as the sensations grow stronger,
I experience delusions fueled by anger,
sadness and anxiety. but I was never truly out to kill me.
so, it’s entirely remarkable
that although I don’t act quickly,
& whereas I lack emotional well-being
(or at least consistently), you empower me
& shelter me, lovingly, in spite of all that would stop me,
in spite of all that would render me incapable of adhering to society’s
standards. because in your eyes,
I am enough
despite my disease.
you are the roots beneath the trees
that keep me grounded in reality.
you will always be enough
and though Ma and Papa – and the rest of my bizarre family
all love me unconditionally, you will be with me
when the day comes that I am ready, to travel to California
(whenever that may be). and I will be with you
as the days pass: a shoulder to lean on – a chest to cry on
or someone to spend the rest of your life with.
you are the sunlight that envelops me, relaxing ever so gently upon my leaves.
you are my closest friend – having revitalized a once purposeless, vacant soul
Still Searching
I’m surrounded by loving family members and friends. While I feel stable in these relationships, I also desire to be in a healthy, long-term romantic relationship. I’ve met many wonderful people in my life, but in each instance, things just weren’t meant to be.
We must always strive to show compassion, acceptance, and empathy. However, some of my relationships haven’t worked out due to a breakdown in communication.
I was head over heels when I wrote Transcendence. Similarly, I was hopeful (and in love) when I wrote Together, as Days Pass. Still, I’ve learned to be wary of early warning signs.
I write more poetry, comics, articles and stories about love than any other topic. Whether a relationship is romantic or platonic, strained bonds with friends, family members, and partners have always deeply affected me.
Removing myself from toxic environments and coming to terms with the fact that in certain situations, I am toxic too, is never easy.
Taking on New Meaning
Now that I’ve met someone who actually embodies the qualities written about in Together, as Days Pass, the poem has taken on a new meaning. It was never truly about the person I dated but was instead about who I wished they could be (for me). Now, I’ve found someone who might just be the love of my life. Regardless of the future, I am happy to be alive.
Maya Angelou once said:
- “People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”
