Ghost in the Shell
chapter one.
we live with // an unseen, // plague-born, // & all-consuming sickness – // its decadence // characteristic of those who came before – // the Sylvia Plaths // or the Kerouacs – // only exacerbated // by the not so abstract // splitting headaches // or binge-eating tendencies // of our traveling companions…
so, as we embark // with Claire & Glenn – // lead vocalists // rocking jubilant bass // or shredding // on soaring guitar, // respectively, // plus, // with Tomie // annihilating the drums, // serenading us // with featured vox – // I’d like you to acknowledge // their grisly musical ensemble, // Crimson Heads, // for an ethereal contribution // & sustenance…
since without the plasma of the living – // of those who feel alive, // who take their coffee with sunshine // (or perhaps more realistically, // who simply strive) – // how could we ever hope to ingest // through emulation – // the nutrients of their zest // & succulent // though abstract // gore?!
for if we were // to eradicate the comrades, // the family, // the lover – // the doppelgänger the carnage bore – // only the shell would remain // & we’d be nothing more…
About Ghost in the Shell
I originally wrote Ghost in the Shell as the introduction to my upcoming LP, Untangled & Soil-Fed. For this reason, the second stanza makes less sense on its own. Still, I’m proud of this piece! I would compare the “musical ensemble” referenced in the second stanza to a virtual band like the Gorillaz.
The names I chose for my band members (Claire, Glenn, & Tomie)—and for the rest of the ensemble (Crimson Heads)—all reference popular characters from horror media released in the late ’80s to early 2000s.
- Can you guess who they are? ❤️
- Leave a comment, and I’ll let you know if you’re right
Additionally, this poem is about sucking the life from those you love (or at least the feeling that you’re doing so). “Chapter one” references 30 years of my life spent in deep depression and distress. Included are times when I felt like a burden or lacked the autonomy to advocate for myself.
The second disc of Untangled & Soil-Fed opens with the words “Chapter two” and my own spoken-word narration. This indicates a major turning point in my life. Though I’m doing better than ever, life surely has its ups and downs; even just this morning, I missed an appointment to have bloodwork done.
James “Buddy” Nielsen sings on “Lungs Like Gallows” from Senses Fail’s 2008 album, Life is Not a Waiting Room: “I give blood to prove to myself that I can matter to somebody else.”
I struggle with everyday tasks and low self-esteem, so when applied to my own life, I can easily interpret Nielsen’s reference to “blood” as a metaphor for acts of service. I used to feel like I was hanging by a thread – that without constant support from my friends, partners, and family, I’d be just a ghost in a shell.
Now, I know there’s more to me than that.
