Please Stop Never Stop

we talked and joked
about how sometimes
it’s better to sleep alone

but freedom loses her appeal
when sheets smell like home:
evoking dreams (even now)

as your scent sinks
slowly, surely, deeper
into mind and blood and bone

where I keep you hidden
and can taste you on my tongue.

About Please Stop Never Stop

This old poem, written before my current relationship, references a conversation with a friend. We talked about how when you’re single, you can fully sprawl out on your bed, which you can’t do when you fall asleep with another person. Sometimes, things like that are awesome, but when you’re in a healthy relationship, like the one I’m in now, they certainly lose their appeal.

Please Stop Never Stop is about missing the good aspects of a toxic relationship. Things aren’t always “black and white.” However, I found that at times, I sought and valued questionable traits in partners – characteristics typically viewed as red flags and which led to interactions that weren’t good for my emotional health.

As time has passed, I better understand why I sometimes sought those who would drain the life out of me and give little in return. I’ve also come to terms with my true, worthy self and am in the process of forgiving myself for the times that I lacked understanding and was uncharacteristically cruel.