Just another silly author who publishes deeply personal literature regarding mental health and the human condition

Attachment Before Entering a Relationship

Attachment Before Entering a Relationship

Rumination is yet another thief of joy

2 Poems About the Downfalls of Becoming Too
Attached Before Entering a Romantic Relationship

I tend to become overwhelmed upon developing romantic feelings for someone, even if it’s just a “crush.” This might sound relatively normal. However, my intense emotional lows or highs can be debilitating.

At the time that I am writing this, I am very focused on my job and finding an increased sense of monetary stability. Because of my disability, that has always been very hard for me.

Regardless, I’m very happy with where I am and am prioritizing my own happiness before entering a new relationship. I have anxiety like many others when dating online or when meeting new people. Too often, I get lost in thoughts of what could be. However, I’ve learned that life needs to be taken one step at a time, as cliché as that sounds.

Sometimes, I loathe the person I am. Too often, I focus on my imperfections and abnormalities. By focusing on my negative feelings, and failing to take my own advice, I take my life and circumstances for granted more than I should.

I fear for my future but I know that life must be taken one day at a time and that I have so much to be grateful for. I have much that many others don’t and I’ve already experienced so many great things in my lifetime.

Like many of my works, Lost in the Hypothetical and To Love but Not Be in Love are about unrequited romantic feelings. They’re about people I have the utmost respect and admiration for. However, writing these poems was my way of coping with my feelings at the time.

Though these poems don’t tackle such subjects, I’ve been rejected in relationships because my partners were unable to accept me for who I am. Undoubtedly, I’ve made many of my own mistakes too. Still, I’m willing to admit that I don’t always give myself enough credit either. We’re all works in progress.

Lost in the Hypothetical

tonight I weep:
maniacally stalking
an unfathomable
hopelessly fantastical
& optimistic love

molten in the trenches
of your quiescent
dormant & resplendent
golden untamed brain

sleeplessly, slowly
sinking in the swirls
of your sheets & silken
scented cerulean curls

desperately scrounging
midst archaic sentiments
searching
for washed out
bloodless snapshots
where my palms
once graced
your tender
incessant waist

or were they the ones
I was absent from?

even so
you never let me go
thus in fervent zeal
I hope

to cheat you into thinking
that I could one day give you

what you need
consistently
a loving family
or perhaps stability

contrary to the failure
of a dope like me

I’ve asked myself if I would still be the same person if we had never met? Was it for the best?

To Love but Not Be in Love

3:13 a.m. talks
and monologues;
am I lightheaded
or dissociating?

consciously reminding
my downtrodden heart
that I am not in love;

so why do I feel
so damn deeply
for those who merely
test the water (as she)?

an outgoing queen
can make any man
woman or person
happy

yet in undeliberate
daydream
she processes
the distance
between

him and her
and her and me
and of just what
could never be:

electing not to
and retracting quick
from my jaded lips.

walking me out
of her apartment
it is now
that I may never
hear her strong
sweet voice
again

or question
whether I
should pick yet another red rose
from the bushel
buried deep in my chest
(smothering me)
and growing rapidly
out through my throat
as I wilt and bloom.

I know that we
undoubtedly weren’t in love
but that I felt it still
in the ecstasy of
her unadulterated
self

It’s Okay to Allow Yourself to Love

Showing vulnerability is okay, but when navigating the dating scene, you should always set clear boundaries.

  • In “You Get So Alone at Times That It Just Makes Sense,” James Nielsen of the band, Senses Fail, sings:
    • “I’m so afraid that everything that’s wrong with me will become part of you and you will never see . . . My love for you will never die.”
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Justus Reinhardt

Justus Reinhardt enjoys writing articles, comics, poetry and prose stories. Through his compositions, Justus' goal is to help others by providing awareness to misunderstood topics.

Justus Reinhardt